Liberty Life
Streetpole ads don't make sense / badly written
- 10-28-2013
- 2
Hey guys.
Thought you may want to know that your latest street pole ads aren't making a lot of sense and could have been written better.
Street pole 1: 'We know you how to give you rewards...
Street pole 2: Without asking your weight.
Street pole 3: LIBERTY'S OWN YOUR LIFE REWARDS
So a few points here:
1.) The first street pole should read: 'We know how to reward you' or at least with the line's current structure, the first 'you' should be removed from 'We know you how to give you rewards...'
2.) The second street pole's line is a continuation of the first. You wouldn't capitalise the first letter. That makes it a new sentence.
3.) You can't 'ask someone's weight'. You can ask about someone's weight.
4.) If the first and second sentence are in sentence case and the third is in uppercase, the billboards are inconsistent.
5.) First sentence is finished with a full-stop, 3rd street pole should be the same.
My point is, you can't convince someone that you can take care of their livelihood if you don't seem to be able to string an 8-word sentence together.
Perhaps pull them, correct them quick, slap them back up and then you've got yourself some more convincing insights: D
Company: Liberty Life
Country: South Africa